Lucy is 8 Months Old!

Lucy turned 8 months old last Thursday! She’s really grown up this past month. I feel like every time I blink my eyes she feels more and more like a toddler and less and less like a baby. Though a piece of my heart often thinks of and misses my wee little baby, I love watching her grow. She’s turning into such a funny, smart and cool gal.

If you missed last month’s update, you can catch up here.

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Time Is A Beautiful Gift

Last night was good for my soul.

Austin and I went to see Trevor Hall’s A Night in The Village show. Honestly, I’ve lost track of how many shows of his I’ve seen, but I always leave feeling more grounded and at peace.

It wasn’t just your average concert; it was a night of storytelling, songs and ended with an insightful Q+A. The entire experience felt particularly special and needed in my life right now.

Maybe I’m alone in this and I know I talk about this a lot, but I have changed so much since becoming a mother. In the best ways and in some of the hardest ways. When I think of having children, I think of how I want to slow down and enjoy every precious moment of their lives. But in reality, life only gets more busy and feels more rushed, ultimately resulting in the saying, “the nights are long, but the years are short.”

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Beating PPD

I think I’ve finally made it through postpartum depression.

This past week and a half have been so hard on all three of us. Emotionally and physically. Lucy began waking up numerous times in the night, fighting naps and bedtime like a little anti-sleep warrior. She’s sometimes even waking up as often as every 15 minutes. Each time crying and screaming, needing rocked or fed back to sleep. Not to mention the random times throughout the night where she was just “awake for the day”. We’re talking 3am 2 hour play times.

Austin and I planned to handle it like the team that we are. I’d take a turn, then Austin would take a turn. But L has now seemed to notice EXACTLY what soothes her best. Mama. Nothing against Daddy, I just spend 24/7 with her and she’s grown attached to how I comfort her. Austin could do the exact same thing I do, but it doesn’t matter. She’s smart enough to know the difference.

After several attempts of Austin trying and Lucy screaming and crying to the point that she now sounds hoarse, it wasn’t worth it. I was now getting up with her each time.

That didn’t necessarily mean Austin had it easy and got to sleep the entire time. He often sits up with me and keeps me company. One night I told him to lay down. I rocked L back to sleep and went to put her in her crib. She instantly woke back up crying. So I tried again. Walking, bouncing until she went into snoozeville. Again, she woke up as soon as I put her down.

This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. But after 6 nights of little to no sleep and growing more and more anxious every time she cried, I broke. My legs felt weak, I felt nauseous, dizzy and was trying to focus on keeping my breathing under control. I was beginning to have an anxiety attack.

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Lucy is 7 Months Old!

Lucy turned 7 months old on Thursday! Her personality is really starting to shine and I have to say she is already the most ornery little lady I know. We’re going to have our hands full, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. She is SO much fun right now!

This month I’ve really enjoyed watching her explore herself (she loves her toes and hair) and playing with our dog, Daisy. She lights up every time Daisy gives her an ounce of attention. It’s too stinkin’ cute.

If you missed last month’s update, you can catch up here.

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Being a Mom is Hard

Late last night, I felt mega vulnerable and desperate. Desperate to vent. Desperate for some relief. Desperate for sleep. Desperate for a quiet moment. Desperate to not feel so alone. So, I turned to a mommy Facebook group and after seeing the responses, it made me want to share here, too. As much as I just want to keep these feelings to myself, I realize it’s important that other moms hear that it’s not always sunshine and rainbows or belly laughs and snuggles.

Being a mom can be sooo hard.

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